Personal 2017 Poetry
42 Poems
The Truth of Solitude
Cynical, recluse, troubled, Vacant and Solitary So many words that meant all the same thing A child who had been through so much; She would rather be alone Than bear the burden of happiness From her days in the spring Where she played recklessly And joy filled her eyes, To the nights of winter Where she dreamed of peace And hidden terrors bore through her chest "Child, you will never be happy anywhere" These words burned through icy tears And chilled her heart with a fiery passion For the longest time she never understood The Truth of Solitude She progressed and improved, But never a soul knew What compelled her to do what she did Or the darkness she hid One night, As the darkness consumed her eyes, She finally discovered what life was about. "Solitude is not the story of a person who is alone, It is the story of a person who has found that serenity lies within" Once...
Once our flag flew bravely high While our dreams reached the sky And we were all one Now too often does our flag droop As we suppress our own group by group We are all alone My Tempest
You were my storm, A tempest of chaos and confusion But yet I felt at peace when you smiled But my feelings were not returned, Were they? Bricks
Bricks, curious aren't they? I've witnessed them break, shatter, Crash, crumble, and fall. But yet they're still used to build houses, And pathways and walls Anything that separates us from the outside world. What happens when those foundations inevitably fall? A cursed storm, a powerful gust of wind? We build it right back again. Maybe our hearts are made of bricks, Or maybe the bricks are our own barrier from the outside And those in it. Bricks II
And, like bricks of an old building, Long since past its prime of a once golden era-- We crumble. Our names become mere words, And our stories forgotten-- Thus is the destiny of our unavoidable fragility. Contradictions
Stuck, Yet free. I'm afraid Of what's ahead. But what's behind Is even scarier. Don't leave me here All alone. My Lust
There are many things that make me sick Not sick as in the flu or a cold or allergies Though it's still a physical sickness I get nauseous and weary But instead of a virus, it's humanity Humanity is peculiar In the generation we live in It's morally acceptable and praised To cheat and play and lead others on To hookup and forget half of those you slept with It's sad that when someone asks us how many We hesitate to recall and count Humanity is disgusting Yet it is also overwhelmingly beautiful I yearn for the day that I no longer feel sick I yearn for the day when there are tears in my eyes Whilst looking at a hopeful and charitable scene A scene of kindness, compassion And love No, not lust I yearn for the day when love is sacred And lust is nonexistent Let My Voice Be Heard
Isn't it funny How we name-call those who feel too fondly-- Cry-baby, overbearing, melodramatic, Edgy, emo, angsty. And yet we mock those who don't feel At all? In this world, few are winners We all lose, no matter what. Because we're too much, too little Too this, too that Never in between. None are good enough. Neither am I. At least, in society's standards. And we all know it. Yet nothing changes, Voices are never spoken nor heard They are lost in a breeze of a fantasy world Where everyone is accepted and loved But in reality, this is a world of cruelty and hatred. We are lost in the flames of desire, greed, and power. Listen
for someone who thinks so much she talks so little she speaks out but with a screaming silence if you listen closely you can hear her thoughts her dreams her pleas for help and guidance But will he listen? Again?
and so the cycle continues she was happy for awhile until Life decided she was unworthy such a shame really she had a beautiful smile left empty and forgotten like a dying rose still beautiful but broken once touched and so the cycle continues P.S.
Life isn't fair Yes, I know I've come to terms with this Long ago But when you're me And bruises and scratches and scars Cover your battle-worn skin From all the times you've fallen And dragged yourself back up Over and over and over Each time hurting worse than the last You end up falling deeper into this pit I feel alone Though I'm surrounded By people who care But I don't see them Because you're missing I would give up the world To see your small smile To hear your infectious laugh To see your eyes that have streaks Like shooting stars That I like to wish upon I wish that you would stay I wish that I could run my hands Through your hair Across your lips I wish that I could hold you I wish that you would tell me It will be okay Just one last time But you won't And you're leaving Soon gone from my life That's okay I know it's not your fault So I'll crawl my way back once again Just in time to say for the last time I love you P.S.: I always will. Cigarettes
I'm addicted to sunshine And the smell of morning dew I'm addicted to cold winter days And the soft touch of snowflakes Against my cheeks I'm addicted to all things beautiful Whether they are big or small I'm addicted to rapid heartbeats And glowing, passionate eyes Which contain a mysterious realm Of curiosity and exploration You could say I have an addictive personality But I'm only addicted to the things Quickly taken away I'm addicted to fairy tales And the myth of love I'm addicted to dreaming Of things much larger than myself These addictions are killing me But no amount of rehab Can heal an empty heart Snow
As I watch the snow glide Down to the ground Graceful and elegant Like a dance you only see in your dreams I think about my life Who am I? Am I like the elegant snowflakes I see before me? Or am I the ground it falls upon, Rough, cracked, and ignored? I think maybe I could be a combination of both Durable and broken Yet elegant in a way That only I can be Maybe that's why my favorite season Is winter. Mosaic
For her eyes held a colorful vibrancy Of hope for a better life The exploratory curiosity they held Were stunning and inspiring They held within a vivid imagination Desperate to escape her reality Small Moments
Be outspoken But say nothing Be curious But question nothing Be loving But don't get too attached Be selfless But don't let them take advantage of you Be strong But it's okay to be weak We are a society of hypocrisy And contradictions They tell us what to be or not be Yet they expect us To see invisible boundaries Separating ourselves From dangerous opportunities But it's okay to risk it If it hurts you It's okay We all feel pain And we drag ourselves up Just to be hurt again That's the purpose of life No, not the suffering But the small moments In between The tears of joy and happiness The playing and the laughter The love and ultimate bliss Without these painful days And these restless nights We would never appreciate Our small victories So use your voice, explore everything, Love truly and fully, And help any who need it. Break down and get back up Because life is short But filled with an infinite amount of joy Surely to pass you by if you don't pay attention. Atlas Revived
For someone who has held The world on her shoulders For years How come such a small thing Feels like the universe Is crushing her? Leaves of Me
I relate to tress often The way that they are lively and beautiful And turn cold As I look at the leaves The pieces that have fallen Soon to be united with the grass Then reborn As something pure and lovely I hope that you take the piece The one you took from me And you create something Just as lovely as a flower I wish to see it grow--You grow-- As fresh and pure as White roses in the spring So no matter how many times You play with this pile of leaves I will be here To build you up and see you grow Ashes
What have I created today? Or in my entire life? Have I made a difference?-- In this world? In someone's life? Am I forgotten? Like many before me? Will I die...just me? A girl with a jumbled mind With no idea of who she is What she wants Or where she's going? Will you spread my ashes And forget what I gave What I created? One day... I will only be ashes A mere fertilizer To the growth around me So maybe I won't create Something today or even Anything in my life-- But maybe I'll create A beautiful oak tree. Deceptive Eyes
Gloomy gray Bright blue And fresh green Do her eyes deceive her? Beautiful brown And rich gold Eyes like a cavern That swallow her whole Yes -- he deceived her. Ghosts
All around us We hear ghost stories Stories of long-lost lovers Trying to find their way Back to each other Stories of a mother Still grieving for her child Stories of death and despair... The ghosts of memories Appear and surround us In a shroud of security And reminiscence... I see them pace the halls Screaming names With looks of desperation Looking for the ones they love... And I look-- For you. Lost and Found
On these late-night drives I find a home Nestled deep under the stars While cars and streetlights Fade in and out Reflectors shine between lanes People return to their loved ones And I dream of a safe haven A place I've longed for I return--- To where I belong. Imaginary Demolition (2 Word Generated Topic)
destructive beasts forceful fiends catastrophic contingencies venomous anxieties intrusive visitors visible only to a mortal mind What is an Ocean?
alas what is before us is an ocean a deep and vast mystery but i long to solve your riddles as the waves crash and thoughts of you come and go there is a certain peace in knowing you're out there looking at the same ocean Past this -- What's Next?
before this i led a life of constant misery and regrets i came to college thinking it all would change believing in others too much i loved with all i had and lost three times over and trusted in Life's fortunes but Life had a different path for me i am admittedly afraid and yet you make me feel fearless in a strange way i haven't quite figured out yet so i admit that i'm a living contradiction love with all but not too much care completely but don't get too attached and i hope that i'm not an unsolvable riddle to you |
To Who Mustn't Be Named
For years I wondered What I ever did wrong And what I could possibly do right To make you happy When you looked to me, No pride filled your eyes But only disappointment, disgust, and frustration I wonder now if you even know me And the person I've become I wonder now if you'll learn to care It's been 17 years So I don't think you'll change But I do wonder what you see When you look at your creation Most of my life I never noticed Until the past five years when I needed it most I needed your love, your pride, and your praise But all I got was a scoff and then brushed away I blamed myself and who I was And even blamed my appearance Which I starved and harmed and covered In order to change It's taken me five years To learn when enough is enough To learn that it's not your love That will make me "loved" But instead, all I ever needed Was to love myself ... But, even still... There are times when I wish You could see me for me And decide that maybe I am Finally good enough Tear
I think I know why Tear has so many different meanings When you are torn apart Tears can no longer flow, For tears cannot heal Those scars that formed the armor Around my fragile skin The System
No faces No personalities We have nothing We are all numbers An "ID" that has nothing to do With our actual identity What happens When those numbers disappear? Will you grieve? Will you ache with a void Forever expanding? Or will you be gracious? These numbers slowly being replaced By one of the other 7 billion pawns Currently obeying this merciless system A Child's Lie
Hollow words Filled with nothing but lustful air And endless, hopeless dreams Never to be attained or discovered. Persuasion and deception Harmless to some -- But not to all. Words can shatter the things That sticks and stone can't break. Sometimes one kind word Is enough to make us stay. I Find Comfort
I find comfort In the sound of the morning Birds singing and calling to their loved ones As the midnight beings find their homes And the dew glides off leaves and grass blades. I find comfort In the sound of waves Slowly rushing over each grain of sand Seeping into the ground Nourishing plants, animals, and people alike. I find comfort In the nights I stay awake Thinking, and thinking some more About the effects of society, About what love is or could be. I find comfort in the solitude of nature and mind. Canvas
What if we don't belong anywhere And all we can do is go with the flow? Falling in and out of existence We say "home is where the heart is" But what if your heart is empty Like a blank canvas or a never-ending cave, Everywhere? I find a home in the simplest of places. In your eyes and the way they light up when you talk Of your dreams and your passions In the way your voice flows out of your lips In your arms that feel like a barrier From anything else that could hurt me further. But those exact same things-- What once made me feel whole-- Are the same reason why I am the canvas I stare at For hours, the rough texture and perfect, crisp edges Not wanting to ruin it Like I always do. Unnoticed Child
Ten. She was beautiful, once upon a time. Smiles always danced on her lips And her laughter was contagious. Her happiness shone like the afternoon sun. Everyone enjoyed her presence. Twelve. Soon the laughter and smiles faded away Much like a dim sunset. Her smiles became masks To hide the pain and suffering she endured. Yet no one noticed. Fourteen. Instead of laughter, there were screams of defiance. Instead of smiles, there were rivers of tears. Not good enough. Ugly. Useless. Worthless. But still she buried it beneath empty, numb eyes. Someone may notice someday. Sixteen. Love came and went. Her trust ran dry, but her face still wet. She became a beacon of empty dreams And her hatred developed, strong enough to overtake her. Her cries for help became ignored. Eighteen. She realized her beauty was gone. She never smiled. Never laughed. She accepted no affections. She pushed the ones who cared most away, Afraid of herself and her feelings. And she noticed the one person who could save her, Who could notice her-- Was herself. I wonder who will notice when she's Twenty? Distant Joy
What is happiness But a devious illusion Quickly taken away From those who need it most? It is a rear-view mirror-- Seems closer than it really is Or ever will be-- But she needs it now Than she ever has Words I'll Never Say (To You)
I loved you Like the stars loved the moon Though they are distant Together they are stunning And I still feel your presence Even if you don't feel mine But I see the ghost of memories In each place I'm in I see remnants of you In each person I meet Yet I wonder if you do the same? I worry that you feel the same I wonder if your life Seems as dull as mine Though I'll never ask Either way I won't like The answer you'll give But like the stars, I'll continue on and watch you shine Oh, how you shine so brightly. I wonder if you'll meet someone else I wonder if you'll smile at her Like you smiled at me I wonder if you eyes will shine as bright As they did when you looked at me I wonder if she'll love those small things As much as I did, and do I doubt it, but I hope she will. But I'll continue on And replay these fragmented memories Like they were yesterday And I'll see the ghost of you Walk beside me Like you once did But never will again. Sepia
And I can hardly breathe Without a heart to beat I'm suffocating with oxygen I'd rather feel pain Than nothing at all The world was once so vibrant With vivid blues and greens, But now I see the world In shades of brown and gray Such a dull life to live I'm a dreamer Of fairy tales and myths I dream of happiness And loves at first sight Yet I'm my own villain For a girl so small and fragile So broken and frayed at the edges, I forgive too often And trust too much But I will continue on. To My Friends:
I know I've been distant Staring into space Rejecting any and all affections I'm sorry I haven't been myself But it's hard When you don't know who you Really are I'm disconnected What is reality? What are delusions? Is all of this just another Nightmare I'll jolt awake for? I hope it is My reality is a torturing inferno Filled with all of the worst possible things I'm sorry that I push All of you away But thank you for staying Thank you for listening To my petty cries and broken screams But to tell the truth I'm scared of the person I've become. A Poem for T -- Remember
Though you are seeking A new path Away from us I ask of you To not forget Don't forget Where you came from Don't forget Where you are going Don't forget That there are those Who adore you Lastly, don't forget Who you are People will try To morph you And poison your soul But don't let them Grow-- But only for yourself Live for today With broad shoulders And your chin up Live for a new tomorrow One that is brighter Than yesterday But don't forget-- You're T. And we will miss you. Destination
I don't know Where I'm going Where I'm supposed to go Where I want to go But as long as I get somewhere It will be okay. A Plaything
And this was her life Filled with endless tragedies That she could only blame herself for This continuous cycle Of broken pieces being lost And you-- You took one Yet you didn't know And didn't care You saw her emotions And saw them as toys But she trusted you And made excuse after excuse As to why you felt she was unworthy Now look at her Look at her fragile, now numb, heart The heart you pulled and tore With a smile on your face And now you're going to forget While she remembers it all But yet if you came back She would go right back to you And you know that. So take your piece and go Go far from here and Leave this broken mess of a girl-- But you're doing that anyway Without me having to tell you... Aren't you? For Just A Moment.
I close my eyes For just a moment. Just long enough to hear The rustle of the wind Sirens wailing Birds chirping Leaves falling And I realize the beauty Of living. The complexity of life Is just to confuse you The ups-- the downs-- They are there to jumble your mind Refusing to let you sit still For just a moment. So enjoy this moment, This moment of life Of complexity or of simplicity Enjoy the comfort of warm sunshine And cool breezes Enjoy the dawns and dusks Because one day-- You'll understand That he was just boy There to teach you that Life is a beautiful complexity. Be Straight-Forward
So tell me Tell me what you're thinking What you're feeling Whether it hurts me Or heals me Does not matter I want to know What you're all about Who you are Your passions Your dislikes Everything Every little thing about you You're an interesting mystery That I'd like to solve But-- you'll never let me Instead you'll push me away You'll ignore me Avoid me And cringe at the very Sign of my presence Still I'll stay Waiting for the day You'll grow up And tell me What you really think. By then, It'll be too late. Heavyhearted Lands (2 Word Generated Topic)
With a melancholic sigh The wind spoke Leaves drifting To a nearby street The hustle and bustle Of the city life-- And with a mournful tremor The ground groaned Trees toppling With a swing of an axe To make way For a skyscraper--- Farewell, Divine beauty Old friend With a whisper Of the breeze---- What is a Sky?
i have an affinity with unity and the way we connect the stars light years apart into a constellation with names and stories i have an affinity with the fact that if i look up and you do the same it is constant the same moon and the deep dark sea of lights we can fall in love with the serenity of the sky together and add to it the stories of our memories |